A gratuitous gust of wind found its way into my lungs, oxygenated my vessels, injecting them with wonder, and coursed through my body with a vigor that compelled my lungs to implore it to stay.
Yesterday I was trekking through the July snow
And I noticed an abandoned doll left by a lamp post in front of my house
Snow accumulating on her matted silken hair
She looked like someone I once knew in a far away place
I bent to pick her off the frostbitten ground
But as soon as I reached for her, she fell over, recoiling from my touch
Dark hair spilling over her weather-worn face like the strife that consumed her
I wrapped my fingers around her small body anyways
I stepped through the door, shook off the snow and opened the windows
I pulled up my rocking chair and put on a kettle of tea
Facing the ragged doll staring back at me with an absent, lopsided smile
I surveyed the damage done by scorching winter storms
Seams undone and coming apart, spilling all that can no longer be contained
Patches of stuffing seeping out of your beaten heart
Dangling limbs too heavy for the yarn hardly holding you together
And so I took you in my arms with a forehead kiss and a smile
I set you down on a welcome lap and tied my hair
I tentatively unwound your surface
Pulling loose each knotted piece of poisonous string that has frayed
Set it aside and weaved strands of gold through your skin
Golden veins that lead right to your heart
Re-attached your fragile limbs with oaths of safety
You have a home here, don’t forget
I replaced your chipped button eyes with onyx and diamond
So you would see the world through your own beauty
Slipped shoes made of ice you conquered
So you’d never again have to walk on burning coal
And I watched you glow as the night gathered itself around us
To observe a metamorphosis that was never intended
When I went out to check the mail this morning
The snow had melted beside the lamp post
And in its place was a large pile of pins and needles
A tombstone for your days of abandonment.
Lifting my eyes to the planes of your face, setting them free to roam along the expanse of your entity, is a berceuse to my strife. Solitude is incomprehensible when swimming in a sea of resolute sentiment, revolving around the manner with which your eyes perceive the tilt of my neck. If I were to extend the palm of my hand so that it would pass through you, fingers weaving in and out of your glow, I would come away with skin bathed; luminous and ethereal. My lips, for you, are forever parted so that your name comes and goes as leisurely, yet vitally, as the air I learned to breathe. On the momentous occasion my lashes lay to rest on my cheek, and I am presented with a masterpiece to behold for my dissipation, I become nestled so deeply within the threshold of my fantasy that spirit no longer recognizes body. In the fleeting exchange between my contentment and your affection, I savor a propensity in the safety of your heart a battalion couldn’t sever my grasp from.
You took precedence in my heart
And grew from a faint breeze
To rumbling thunder.
Allowing no one
To place their claim over my ardor,
You scattered your name
Throughout my being
Like the moon’s tender gaze.
Every breath I take
Sounds like you.
I’ve led so many lives unlived
I’d have to use the fingers of all the people
I used to be to count them all.
And if you’d asked me what I had marked on my calendar
I’d sing you the melodies
Of the people I’ve yet to be.
What I didn’t realize was that trees do weep when they fall.
And rainstorms are really just looking for a home.
It searches with such a force
Roots shelve memories in place for it’s love.
Did you ever listen.
When did winds ever promise to carry whispers
And did drops of water ever swear to drown unshed tears.
Thunder never offered to scream heaven’s secrets
Lightening not once declared to draw open your mind’s curtains.
But professions are not necessarily always understood.
Do not be fooled I am neither sky, earth, nor sea.
Suns and moons pay no heed to what they cannot see
The same way you cannot smell your own scent.
The same way I cannot differentiate between my faces.
But have memorized each heart
By beat, rythm, and thought.
Do not be fooled, I am sky, earth, and sea.
A hummingbird’s wing fluttering upon your tongue;
And if only you had possessed the lion’s roar to voice it.
But alas you are satisfied with a fox’s song
To overshadow the purpose with which your heart was anointed,
For you tip-toe through the branches with a fragmented lung.
And though your rabbit stride seeks to withhold it,
The mind cannot undo what the heart has already begun.
And so the pen glides and strokes over stones of sonnet
But only in yonder clouds unseen is it heard Be And Become.
I’ll love you when I’m awake, I’ll love you when I’m dreaming. I’ll love you when I’m alive, and I’ll love you when I’m leaving. Forever and ever and ever and always.
Dance along the water’s edge
Faint pathways for the out of breath
Shards hover above the seams
No, you’re doing it all wrong
It’s vertical for the darkness if you want it
Horizontal is only a river of blood
A paint set of red for the weak willed
One foot in front of the other, there you go
Cloud 9 Suicide
I never went searching for the rabbit hole
It was a flash of white that caught my attention
I fell in and attempted to regain the breath it stole
But I was free falling and then in dazed suspension
I dived off the edge of the earth
And landed on rolling clouds of holy
As warm as the inviting glow of a hearth
They all sang your name, yours soley
I ran from cloud to golden cloud
Up and down the color-strewn sky
My existence consisted of your fluid sound
Your silent steps imitate my escaping sigh
The colors danced to your hue and stood by my side
I kissed a cheek that was the wind and was fleeting
It turned my eyes this way and that, lulling me
So I turned on my heels and to the sky my secrets I’ll confide
It was cloud nine suicide and I fell into the sea
But still you kept my heart beating
But the day your hand touches mine
I’ll find myself again under that great oak tree
The day those aching vines intertwine
Loving you is like being free.